Today, one of my relatives died. Let’s call her CJ.
This word, ” Death ” has always been associated with feelings like negativity, sorrow, sadness, etc.
The anguish of losing a loved one is simply irreplaceable. But my question is, why do we associate Death with something that makes us feel low? Today, while going through the entire episode of “Death” of a near one, I had enough time to reflect upon all this. Although we all lose someone close to us, we rarely reflect on the questions that arise throughout that entire day.
This was the first time I questioned and reflected on the concept of death.
Death.
Why do we react to things as if they sting us and become numb? Why do we lose all our excitement and energy when this word is said to us? Why should losing someone be so painful and not a normal process? When death is the only thing certain, why do we fear it? Why can’t we accept that there will come a time when we will all have to face this? We will all have to face it one day. Then why do we live like we’re going to live forever? We feel like someone pierced our heart when we lose them. Do we become so attached to someone that when we lose them, we feel as if a piece of our memory has been taken away from us and we are powerless to stop it? Then a question arises: can not getting attached to your family help you with your emotions when they go away? Is this thing even possible?
When the plant grows , it forms new branches, and the branches grow their own leaves, but by the time the initial leaves fade, the newest plants have already begun to live on their own. That’s the same with Death. In current times, only the immediate family members who miss that person mourn for a day or two and then move ahead with their lives. This is not because they don’t care; it’s just that everybody has their own set of problems.
Family.
What would be going through the mind of that small kid who is playing a game on his mobile phone, not knowing why so many people have gathered at his home when there are no birthdays to celebrate? Why are the young kids sent to their neighbour’s house to spend some time? Why have they not been made aware of who they have lost and what it means? Why aren’t they made aware that the elder in his family with whom he used to spend time is not going to be there anymore? Who would now take his side when his mom would shout and he would go behind this elder, knowing he was secured and no one would dare touch him? That kid is in his own world.
What would be going through the mind of that adolescent in the family who has to carry that pot to the shamshan (burial site)? What would be going through that adolescent’s mind and heart when he is told to give Antim/Agni Sanskar (last rites)? When he sees his elder getting burned in front of his eyes, doesn’t he feel sorrow? Or does he feel numb? Does he realise what he has actually done? What will happen when they unintentionally ask their parents about that elder? How will the family answer? And what will they say as to where that person is? And why hasn’t that person appeared lately?
There are more questions than one can answer, and I feel sometimes things are just not answered clearly. Everyone has to fight with themselves, with their own thought process, and accept reality.
I would like to sum up all this with a line from a song very dear to me.
It’s The Passenger’s “Let her go,” which begins, “Everything you touch, surely dies…”
